The Hardest Part...

Today I was faced with the hardest part of my job thus far. Last evening a "client" (consumer) of mine passed away. Very unexpectedly. Its was someone who has been on my caseload since the begining and had even worked with, on a few ocassions, when I was doing direct care. So I have known this person for about 3-4 years. As I sat with his family without the ability to even speak, as I was in complete shock, I thought about his whole unexpected life. How he was thrown in to his disabilities after living the first 20 (or so) years of his life completely "normal". And then for something like this to happen 20 years later! I can not imagine the pain and grief of his mother, who has lived to see her son go from a "regular" bright young man to being confined to a wheelchair and not even have the ability to eat REAL food. And then to watch him take his last breaths. She said something to me that really got me, as a mother, she told me to make sure and hug my little boy because it all goes by way too fast. It really brings it close to home that there are no guarantees in life. That just because you wake up today and kiss your child, doesn't mean that you will be able to do that tomorrow.



The hard part of my job is seeing the family, in grief, and also seeing the business side of everything. To understand why they want and need every single detail...and why we can not just give them that. I hate having to be at all involved in anything that may bring further hardship or inconvienence to them. I can only hope that they know how much I really do care.

I feel like I am not completely making sense...but I am feeling a little out of sorts. Anyways. My point is...I will always remember this person. His has life has really taught me that it is true when they say nothing is gauranteed. His mother's words to me will forever ring in my ears as I make sure to kiss and hug my son (and future children) every single chance I get. I will make sure that I tell him every day how much I love him. I will never take for granted his laugh, his smile, and his love. I will remember, even on the worst days, that I am lucky to have him in my life, I am lucky that my son is living and breathing. I will make sure to spend every chance I get with my family. I will make sure to tell them all how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I will cherish every moment I get.